These are compliments of cbarge... FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUIL..., THREE TEQUILA ... FLOOR.2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF- HELP SECTION? SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT. .. right" "Yes well ... you know," he said, "for that kind of money they will have expectations" What? I don't have to fuck'um do I" she said surprised at her boldness."No and if you did, I wouldn't want to know about it. What you do in that room, on that night, is your business, but they do want a video tape of the evening." What?" she stammered, "I thought they wanted privacy." Hey! they are paying a lot of money; if they want it, they get it. Maybe they want it for something to remember and. Norm's wife had gone back to school and she was working nights as a security guard to earn the money to pay for it. Imaging Kathy as a security guard was a major, major stretch of the imagination and we all tried to picture it until she laughingly broke down and told us that all she had to do was monitor TV screens and call the cops if she saw anything.Anyway, Norm had to stay home and watch the kids. We made the trip to Newton, got a fairly good table and settled in to enjoy ourselves. We had. “Been saving it up,” Alice stretched and rose to a sitting position. “Somebody had to be the first one. Consider yourself lucky. You got a cigarette?”“Left coat pocket. Matches in the right,” he said. “You said ‘first.’ You been in prison or something?”Alice laughed as she took a deep drag of her first cigarette in 17 years. “Yeah. Serving a life sentence.”She passed the cigarette over to her lover, who knew when a conversation was over. After a few moments, he asked, “Can I at least take a.
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